So, my bandster (and other) friends... I need some help.
November 30th, I will turn 40. And damn it, I SO WANT TO BE UNDER 200 POUNDS! As I write this, I am weighing in about 204.5... not very far to go, but SO very far away, if that makes sense... For whatever reason, I find myself in the same place I was right before I got pregnant with Liam... struggling for months to pass that 200 pound mark. It is so scary in so may ways. And honestly (if I am being completely honest with myself) it is my choice to imbibe alcohol (wine) EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. More than a glass.... Because....
Well, I really don't know... Who am I at under 200 pounds? Will I like that person? Does she deserve me and my family? So many questions bigger than my weight... (sigh, with tears...)
I haven't weighed that since high school, except for about 12 days before I got pregnant with Liam, and honestly that was because of the flu (but I welcomed & enjoyed that number)...
Seriously. I haven't been under 200 pounds SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. Do you know how long ago that was?!?!? Well, if you can do math, you do. Over 20 years. More than 1/2 of the life I've lived. I was Sarah Landolt then. Not Sarah Fogler, who I've been (very happily) for almost 12 years... I barely remember who that person was, way back then!!! But I want to meet her again, and get to know her.
Especially before I turn 40,
so that I can truly celebrate 40.
I did have a mini NSV last week when I fit into a pair of size 14 pants... but I know that is just the first of so many NSV's that I owe myself, 3.5+ years into this banding journey... I want them to keep coming! Why do I have these mental blocks?!?!? Why is it that I don't want to blog and be in touch with so many of you who have provided me such inspiration? The last few blogs I've had, I've had so few comments... and I feel like somehow I've missed out on you ladies....
HELP! I feel kind of alone right now... I haven't been posting, so I'm not on the bandster radar... but I need you ladies right now for suggestions, encouragement, kicking-me-in-the-ass... all of that stuff! I hope you welcome me back into your world(s)... Because I want to celebrate 40 with all of you, in that I am solidly below 200 pounds and that I know I'll never be above it again.
And, so I am not remiss, Happy 4th Bandiversary to my dear friend, Catherine... You are such an amazing inspiration to me throughout all of this!!! (seriously, xoxoxoxoxo... I am determined to plan an NYC trip to see you and Jen with Lucia, sometime very soon!!!)
4 comments:
Yahoo! Love seeing a blog for you! I don't have a ton of tips as I'm currently in a back to basics mode myself! But I do know that you deserve all the success in the world and you WILL get there! And 40 is not too bad! I survived it! XX
You can count on me for support and encouragement, dear friend!! I have no doubt in my mind that you can do this. After all, YOU are the girl who said she would run, and you did it.
It doesn't matter if you got off track for a bit -- you had a baby! :) Perfectly reasonable, and now you're back in action. You deserve to see that 1 on your scale again, and to feel really proud of all of your accomplishments!
Thank you so much for your nice comment on my blog, and for your shout-out. You've helped me so much during this journey, and I am here to listen and cheer you on!
I can't wait to see you and Lucia in NYC again! (Did she really say "mommy's skinny friends"?! Man, I love that girl!!) :) :) xoxoxo
Yes, Catherine... she did say "Mommy's skinny friends" (LOL)!!! So I am determined to bring her back to NYC at some point soon!!! LOL... xoxoxo... and thanks my friend...
And to my AZ Jen... thank you too... can't wait to visit you and Mac there SOMETIME! Don't know when, but hopefully soon!
Hang in there, Sarah. I agree with Catherine...perfectly reasonable to get a little off track...you've had a baby (and a very cute one at that)! You've got this!
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