Missing 2 teeth and camp... *sniff!* (plus new bandsters)

My baby isn't a baby anymore! We dropped her off at her first overnight camp this morning (sniff, sniff!) - and she was a trooper! So excited, and just a few tears (so I hear) after we left... Here are a couple of pix of her from this morning, missing both front teeth and sitting on her camp "bunk". (sorry they are fuzzy - camera phone). It's only 3 days and 2 nights, but I miss her already! I think I'm going to have a harder time with it than she is!

Also, check out these new bandsters...

• Donut Diva who's 50 pounds down and looking for some love!!!
• Blither Blather who is also looking for support and followers

Yo-Yo and dentist...

(Sigh)... back up a few pounds this morning... 199.2. And I've been pretty good at my mini-goals that I set... I've been successful on the water, I've had less than 2 alcoholic drinks in a week (used to be one a night, so this is definitely better), I'm focusing on protein... haven't been as good on exercise because it has just been so darn HOT, but Lucia goes to camp tomorrow so I have no excuse to not get up in the morning and get out as no one has to stay here with her... I'm going to keep on plugging... In the meantime, I need to hold firm on the glass of wine... my SIL is coming into town for the night, and we always drink together... ALWAYS. Not tonight. I am determined to have sparkling water while she has wine. Have to break that cycle... hopefully she will understand. If not, oh well! On the dentist front, just a quick plug that I am VERY proud of Lucia... she unfortunately has a few cavities, and got her first two fillings this morning and was a TROOPER! (I am a BIG wuss when it comes to dentists) While we were there, she lost her other front tooth and is absolutely adorable with no front teeth - definitely will have to take some pix tonight of that to have!

Horses, Heat and Kitchen Destruction

Fun at a Horse Show this morning...

The Fogler Clan... (always on the lookout for the Xmas card shot)

~~~

Hi everyone... hope you had a great weekend! We did - busy, but fun... and HOT! 102 here today (that is WITHOUT the heat index)... We've been busy but all great stuff this weekend... Friday night was our mother/daughter bookclub (we read Magic Treehouse #1) - it was good but the girls were EXHAUSTED, so all of them had a tough time with it. Yesterday, Lu and I had a partial "girls" day and went shopping and went to see Toy Story 3 with her friend Natalie (and my friend, Natalie's mom, Jen)... then last night we just chilled and with Lucia STILL so tired, went to bed at 8pm. This morning, we went to a horse jumping event... we were invited by some friends, and don't know a whole lot about horses... BUT the girls highlight of Girl Scout Camp was getting to ride the horses, so I thought they'd enjoy this... and they did!

Lucia & Natalie watching the jumpers

Random horse #1

Random Horse #2

Random Horse #3 (that Lucia decided she LOVED)

Lucia & Natalie... trying to get them for a minute, to stop watching...

All 4 of us...

The girls had fun, but it was HOT! We got there at 8:15 and by 10:30 when we left it was already 92 degrees... so we went home, decided to go to the pool and have lunch there, then came home and chilled... the girls watched The Princess & The Frog (again), and Dennis and I demolished our kitchen in preparation for the painter to come tomorrow... Suffice it to say that we are REALLY good tilers... so good in fact, that when you try to take it off, all the drywall comes with it (sigh). Thank god our guy can "fix anything"... Everything is off the walls and shoved into the living/dining room, and we're ready for paint! Then, as we decide what is worthy enough to make it back, I am feeling like there will be another full run to Goodwill... which is a good thing! Hope ya'll had a great (cool) weekend!

From the mouths of babes...

True conversation 5 minutes ago with Lucia (8:30 PM)... remember... she turned 6 three days ago...

~~~

• Lucia (looking at the picture on the left of my blog at my heaviest): "Mommy, that isn't a very good picture. You need to take it down off your blog right now."
• Me: "No, I'm not taking it down. That is when I was at my heaviest - I keep it there to remind myself of how far I've come and how much weight I've lost. It's important to be there."
• Lucia: "That is a SCARY picture!"
• Me: (trying not to laugh and yet feeling a tiny bit hurt at the same time) "Yup... it sure is..."
• Lucia: "GIRL (insert mega-attitude, eyebrows raised and hand-on-hip here)?!?!? You need to work OUT!"
• Me: "Go brush your teeth" (big, big, sigh...)
• Lucia (as she is running upstairs): "Let me at you... I'll work you out like one of those work-out people you've never met before!"

~~~

Where on earth does she get this stuff? At least I know she's honest and speaks her mind... (BIG sigh) She must be missing The Biggest Loser and Jillian...

1 year, 4 months, 5 days a new pantry and... HOW MANY pounds?!?!?

EIGHTY POUNDS!!!

29% of my body weight lost... Finally! I had a feeling last night when the scale (at the end of the day) was still below 200 that I might just be in the 100's for good... and that I also might see this number. Sure enough, 197.5 came up on the scale this morning and that puts me at 80 pounds! Yippee! Good start to the weekend... now to keep it there or lower! Thanks to everyone for your encouragement these last 6 months that I've been stuck between 207 and here... 6 months to lose 10 pounds... But I think a lot of it has also been mental blocks - not the band... It's been great knowing that you all understand! Between the support, finally getting honest with myself about what was blocking it, and deciding to refocus, I was able to get past that hurdle! And I think I'll like being in the 100's now and am planning to do everything I can to become firmly ensconsed here!!!

~*~*~*~

We also got our new pantry inserts and I finally got all my crap put back in them... YAY! Organization! Love it. Let's see how long it lasts like this! I wish I had taken some "before" pix of how bad they were - just the basic builder grade press-board shelves that once you put things on, you couldn't see... not anymore!!! Yippee!

Food Pantry View #1

Food Pantry View #2

Pot & Pan Pantry View

Excited to be stuck?!?!? And another new blogger

Hmmm... I am actually feeling a bit stuck this morning! In fact, I just had that "gurggling" sound come up! And I'm happy about it! As many of you are, I am usually pretty tight in the AM. I have felt pretty loose overall the last few weeks, but have been really careful not to overeat... that being said, bread and pasta were going down without issue. This morning I had two bites of bread, and now I have that uncomfortable-sitting-in-my-chest feeling. YAY! (Never thought I'd be excited about that) I'm not going to PB, but it is definitely here, telling me that the band still is working! Oh - and the scales were 198.8 this AM... another YAY! I'm hoping that I am here to stay in the 100's now, but going to keep working at it via my short-term goals. I think I will declare myself firmly in the 100's when I get to 197.5 which is also 80 pounds lost... so close! Less than 1.5 lbs away to that goal. ~~~~~~ Also - I found another new NYC Bandster, MLM who is looking for followers... go check her out!

BRAND NEW Bandster

Or should I say BAND-new (cracking-myself-up) bandster, Christine, is flying from the US to Brussels to get banded on Friday!!! I'm her only follower so far - help a sister out!

Goal check...

Happy to say that I'm doing pretty well on my goals so far. Granted, only 2 days, but hey - 2 days! And the scale was at 199.4 this morning... I'll take the losses, even in 0.2 pound increments! ~~~

• Goal 1: 72 oz. water/day minimum (Status: Doing pretty well on this, and off to get my first 24 oz glass of the day)
• Goal 2: No alcohol (Status: CHECK! Since Sunday)
• Goal 3: Run at least 10 miles and/or 6 hours exercise (Status: 2 miles walked yesterday / 45 minutes. Nothing today - 80 degrees at 6AM, plus two little girls already awake doesn't make for a good time to walk...)
• Goal 4: Take better care of me, blah, blah, blah (Status: Not doing great on this one yet - will be better next week... things are slowly starting to slow down and settle in)
• Goal 5: Protein first but fruit/veggies with every meal (Status: Have had fruit/veggies with 80% of my meals so far...not sure the greenbeans with fatback or mashed potatos last night really count though)

What a difference 6 years makes!

Happy 6th Birthday Lucia Mackenzie Fogler!!!

Where did the time go?!?!? 6 years ago today, the best thing in the world happened... Lucia was born! She rocks... such a good kid. We are incredibly blessed with her!!! She is turning into such a sweet, kind young lady. We are very proud of her! However, I do NOT know where the heck the last 6 years has gone!!! ~~~ Here is a picture of her this morning in her birthday shirt and pigtails (I wish the two front teeth had come out - any minute!), on the way to girl scout camp... she is VERY excited because today is both horse-riding day AND canoeing day... Plus swimming... Tonight we're taking her to out to dinner and a friend is sleeping over... thank god both girls will be exhausted from camp and will hopefully fall asleep easily!!! I thought I'd also add a comparison picture below from today vs. 6 years ago when we brought Lucia home... granted, there is still some pregnancy weight but you get the picture (no pun intended)!

Lucia, this morning - 6 years old and proud!

Me, this morning (in a new dress) at 199.6 lbs... Me 6 years ago... easily at (not counting the post-pregnancy weight) 283 or more... Neither Dennis nor I look very happy... clearly the exhaustion had set in 4 days into having her!!!

Mini goals between now and July 4th.

Jenny's blog reminded me (who was reminded by the other Jenny) that it is time to re-focus and re-set my goals... short-term is good, and between now and July 4th weekend seems to be reasonable... so here I go!

In fact, I'm off to get my water right now!

Started this one last night after the bday party this weekend...

No comment. Haven't been doing well here, hence the goal.

Don't forget you can make your own sticky notes here... Enjoy!

A successful birthday weekend!!!

We had a great birthday weekend.... And Father's Day too. Today, the closets are getting installed and the driveway sealed, and that is Dennis's job to handle. Whoo Hoo!!! Anywhoo, here are some pictures from the weekend and party. We did a "make-your-own-pizza" party for Lucia... the invitations read "You make it, We Bake it!"... It was a huge success, and relatively easy in the grand scheme of things! For those of you with kids, if you want more details on it, let me know and I'll email you. Enough of that.... here is the evidence of a fun weekend!

We went to the pool with my in-laws and nephew before the party... just to make sure the kids were good and tired for later that night!

The party started out with each child getting a paper chef's hat and apron to decorate on the deck...

My adorable (I'm biased) nephew Gage...

Lucia and a friend working hard on decorating their hats...

Jordan and Lauren... a few more friends with their masterpieces!

The "make your own pizza" efforts begin... and not too much of a mess either!

Lucia and Gage debating the merits of pepperoni...

While the pizzas were cooking, the kids went back outside to play with real pizza dough... Easy - and a huge hit!!!

I think my friend Lori and I had more fun with the dough than the kids did...

The pizza masterpieces come out of the oven... lots of excited and hungry kids to eat their very own specialty! We had pizzas ranging from every topping on the table, to just the dough, 2 black olives and 7 slices of pepperoni. That was it!

After pizza, we did the requisite pinata outside - a lot of fun... I feel sorry for the decapitated donkey!

Ice cream cake...

And birthday wishes....

Chef Lucia had a really good time...

REALLY!!!!

The big "6", and a lot of desperation

Lucia is turning 6 next week and I'm feeling desperate. First of all, when the heck did she get so old? I mean, tomorrow is the last day of kindergarten! I can remember her toddling around the house! I love how much she is growing up but it is kind of bittersweet... And I also feel like I'm going absolutely crazy. OK - I know I'm not, but it has been a FRENETIC week! I am feeling completely overwhelmed right now. I haven't posted in almost a week, and have so many things I need to get done and no time to do it. I know that this is not just unique to me, but boy - I feel like just burying my head and crying! I am hoping it will get better after the weekend. Last week was crazy with the funeral, and then I got back here to a crazy schedule with school ending, and other things. Then I end up in the ER on Tuesday night with what we were worried was appendicitis. Thankfully, it wasn't - we're not sure what it was/is... thought is a pulled stomach muscle on the right side (probably some stress related as well). I am glad that it was nothing worse, and it is getting better. BUT... I gained 4 pounds from the IV fluid and the almost 1/2 gallon of juice with contrast dye I had to drink! Between that and having my (.), I am totally retaining water which just sucks. I'm grumpy, short-tempered, tired and just have too much going on! I know it will get better, but the scale isn't making me happy. So I think I may just ignore it for the short-term.

~~~~~~~

Why so overwhelmed? Well, here's why...we have 13 kids coming over Saturday for Lu's birthday party (plus parents and our family). Dumb me thought it would be easier to have at home (!). Sunday is Father's Day (my Dad, Dennis's Dad and brother and Dennis will be at my house), Monday we are having new pantry insterts installed (which means that we have to empty them out completely), the week of the 28th we're having the kitchen / livingroom / mudroom painted which means EVERYTHING off the walls. Oh, and if that isn't enough, we're moving Lucia into a new room, and she is getting new furniture for her birthday - which we have to put together - and that means cleaning everything OUT and organizing it and hopefully getting rid of a LOT of crap. AND that has to be done by tomorrow night so that we can actually SLEEP everyone who will be here on Saturday. Thank god my Mom has been here this week - it has been a HUGE help... she's been spending some time hoeing things out, and I put 5 trash bags out last night just from Lucia's room alone. (Gasp for air)

~~~~~~~~~

So... with everything going on, tonight Dennis and I are going out to dinner. What?!?!? I actually am really looking forward to just spending a few hours together alone... I know I'll get it all done, and I feel like we haven't really talked in a while. Then we're going to the Mac store to get his Father's day present. I'm taking a personal day tomorrow to get my hair cut & colored (I'm desperate), and then finish putting together furniture, moving Lucia's bedroom and hopefully will finish preparing for the party on Saturday... Again, I just can't beleive she's turning 6! Sunday is a Father's Day breakfast, and hopefully a nice relaxing day... I'm hoping I have more time to blog next week and that things will slow down a bit! In the interim, hope you all have a great weekend and Father's Day!!! Phew. Talk to you next week!

I did it!

I pressed my "courage" button after the funeral, and decided to go into a store that does NOT carry women's sizes! And I had my Mom with me... I can't think of a better way to lose my "regular size" virginity - to Ann Taylor! (okay - AT Outlet, but same difference...)! The funeral was this morning. It was beautiful and hard... very nice reception following where people were able to share their thoughts. Tonight we're going to the beach house to toast Michael at Sunset... he loved watching beautiful sunsets, so the family and closest friends will all be together to share that, which I am looking forward very much to.

~~~~~

Anywhoo... on to my AT adventure. Just north of where we're staying is a set of Prime Outlets... and I saw the Ann Taylor sign, among others on my drive down. We never seem to have time to stop, so I decided to go there today. Mom came with me, and we drove north and had a few hours to just have a nice chat - and some nice silence - together. Went in, and felt a lot out of my league... My first (internal) response was "that salesgirl probably is thinking what is that girl doing here?!?!?" (Mean Sarah visited for a few seconds)... but, I soldiered on, kicked mean sarah to the curb, and headed straight back to the clearance section (you know me, love a bargain) and started pulling shirts and pants off the rack. I tried on 4 pairs of size 16 pants... the good news is that they all zippered and fit. However, they were a bit snug or cut kind of funny, and the one pair I liked that looked okay was too dressy for non-work and too casual for work, so I passed on it. I did, however, end up with a delightful blue wrap dress (size 18, BUT is a wrap and goes tight - plus if I ever needed a bit more room, could "grow/shrink" with it), a great blouse for work (size L!) and 4 tank tops which I got in XL, even though the L's fit - I just like them a tad bit looser around the hips, and these were SO comfy... I also got a really cute navy blue skirt (size XL), which folds on the waist, and is that really soft cotton material. Not quite t-shirt, but also not sweatpants material. Light, comfy, wonderful! If they had a L, I would have gotten that - but they didn't and I LOVED it, and for $10, I wasn't going to pass on it. In fact, I'm going to wear it and one of the tank tops to the beach tonight, and will have Mom take a picture of me to share with ya'll... The best part of the whole experience was that there were clothes in bigger sizes than I am wearing right now. YAY! Such a fun, good feeling. I'm glad I did this today, with my Mom. She was a great cheerleader, but honest too (i.e. told me when the pants truly looked bad). I think I might just be ready to try a few other "new" stores come fall. So... for those of you bandster folks who have overcome this little issue, where is your favorite place to shop now?

Sunrise

I got up this morning purposely to watch the sun rise over St. Augustine beach this morning... I wish I had my camera connection with me to share the pix, but suffice it to say it was very pretty. Not the prettiest I've ever seen... kind of hazy, and gray (a bit like how I was feeling at 5:45AM) but then, out of no where, WHAM! A bright red ball rising up... Very nice. I brought down 2 cups of coffee to the beach, and was there for both cups... I needed that time to myself this morning. We saw some of the family last night, which was wonderful. So many little things that are reminders of Michael... I had forgotten how much he loves pelicans, and I'm hoping I see some today (they are usually all over the place here). Funeral is this morning... it will be a long, but good day. On the band front, I'm not loose, but not tight either... I've been making pretty decent choices for the most part this trip, but this morning have been able to eat 1/4 of a bagel (LOTS of chewing)... and now have hiccups, so know I'm done. I am definitely not going to push it - just need to make sure I've got lots of protein and stay on top of my hunger today so I don't fall into the emotional decision to eat.

The best of friends = brisket

So I posted a few back about the fact that I am really blessed with amazing friends. Tonight, my BF and neighbor Ali brought over a pan of brisket... Delicious, to be sure... but post-worthy? Yes... and here is why... Her rationale was multi-fold... and here it is, as verbatim as possible...

• "We Jews... we don't do plants or flowers... we feed you!"
• "I wanted to make sure I could do something you could enjoy... and I knew that Noodle Kugel (the most delicious delicacy in the world that she makes) might cause you to get stuck on the noodles... even though there is protein from the egg, it probably isn't band-friendly"
• "The Matzoh-Caramel-Chocolate Crunch, while delicious (OMG - seriously, it is take-a-moment-for-yourself-worthy), is too fattening. I don't want to sabotage you."
• "So I thought that I'd make you a brisket... it is lower in fat and high protein"

OMG... I love you Ali!!! Not only do you know how to truly do Jewish comfort food, but you are truly an amazing, wonderful, beautiful friend... Mazol Tav, or maybe L'chaim/Lechayem - to two of our favorite people who are making sure that they take care of two of their favorite girls (and many more)...

~~~~

BTW - this is so damn good that I am determined to bring brisket through security and onto my flight to Florida tomorrow... and if I don't pack some of it up soon, Dennis will eat it all!

Fun NSVs at Kohl's

I occassionally stop by Kohl's and check their clearance racks... Usually with no luck, but every now and then I find something. So yesterday after my allergist appointment I decided to swing by. And..I had a few NSV's I wanted to share...

• I tried on a random pair of shoes on clearance (with a 2" heel girls!) that were NOT wide and they fit! So I bought them. (And I'm really not scared of heels anymore although I doubt I'll ever go much above 2")
• I tried on a XL dress and it was really cute. BUT TOO BIG! Definitely on top, and even a little bit on the bottom!
• I tried on an XL sweater... and it was too big too! Hurray!!!! And the large was really kind of too big too, but since it was a sweater and will go over something, I'm okay with that (plus they didn't have it in a medium on the clearance rack). I mean, for $8 I can't complain!

The top is definitely getting smaller and smaller if you don't count my chicken wings... Not so much on the bottom - but, I know slowly and surely it will happen. I picked two pairs of size 16 pants off the rack and they fit comfortably. I am a ways away from a 14 in bottoms (except skirts) and I still haven't found the courage to go into a store that doesn't go above size 16 (i.e. J.Jill or Ann Taylor) - maybe I'll think about it for fall clothes - and I still inevitably find myself going into the women's section and have to remind myself that, in fact, all women's sizes are now too big... but that was fun yesterday!

~~~~~~~~

In other news, I head to St. Augustine tomorrow... Funeral is Friday. I think it is going to be incredibly difficult, BUT also affirming of what a fantastic life Michael lived. Talk to you all later this weekend!

Crabs make the world a better place...

At least the kind you eat do! We had a nice weekend... I got to talk to my godmother, and another one of my godsisters, and although painful it was also cathartic. The funeral is this Friday, so I'm heading down to St. Augustine on Thursday... I'll be glad to give and get hugs... We had a nice weekend. Went to a friend's house on Saturday night for a bbq and then went up to MD to get crabs with another friend yesterday... We have this little shack we go to - and somehow, they've managed to recreate a bit of key west on the Potomac in Maryland... I love just spending a few hours in good conversation, and in no hurry to do anything. Brought the sand toys for the kids which kept them busy too...

~~~

I just read Draz's post on friends and BFF's... I guess (I know) I am really lucky because I have 7 women at least who I consider to be BFF's (not including some family members)... They are all friends in different ways and for different reasons... 3 from elementary school, 1 in Florida (one of my godsisters) and another 3 whom I consider to be my BF's here in Richmond... I just treasure them so much - all of them - it's tough work to keep friends going strong, but worth every second. And I love that we ebb and flow, like tides d0 - some I only talk to a few times a year but when I do it is like we pick up where we left off without a stumble... others I talk to weekly and then some daily... I remember so clearly growing up my dad telling me when I left to go to boarding school that it was going to be my responsibility to keep my friendships strong. I kind of understood that then, but I really do now - I can't wait for them to call me or email me, if I want them to stay strong friends, I have to make the effort... Easier said than done sometimes - and I drop the ball a lot, but I really am so thankful for all of the friends I do have. I know that they will be there for me (and are). So thanks to all of you who know who you are!

~~~

Here are a few pix from this weekend, including one of one of my friends here in Richmond mentioned above, Candace.

Dennis & Me

Candace & Chris

Zach, Ben & Lucia

Playing in the sand

Lucia just chillin'

Still grieving... and laughing

Thank you all so much for your kind posts about my godfather Michael... I will be honest - I've never quite felt this level of devastation. I find myself just tearing up at the slightest thing. Thankfully, I've been able to speak with 2 of my god-sisters, and my godmother Patty... It is so hard to think that this person who has been this light in my life for 37 years isn't playing that role anymore.... But, I have to believe (for private reasons right now) that he is stepping into a guardian angel role now. Even with my grandmother's death, it was expected. Somehow, this one - not so much.... I just feel so damn sad and angry... I've finished a bottle of Toasted Head already today. BUT... here is a great picture of him, which somehow epitomizes him... in so many ways. And I love it. I've ordered it in multiple sizes and color / b&w.... He is on a mission... But if his girls were in the picture, he'd be going the other way... I love you Michael. And I'll celebrate you forever (as well as this weekend and in July).

odd...

yesterday afternoon sucked as you can imagine. I've been at a great point with restriction - no PB'ing and the acid reflux has gone away, but still not able to eat too much. Perfect. Yesterday? I don't know exactly what happened, but suffice it to say I could eat way more than I normally would with no restriction at all. I came home and cried, drank a glass of wine, nibbled on crap-slider food, then we went out for chinese food... came home, another glass of wine... then bed. Slept for 4 hours - up for 4 hours in the middle of the night just laying there thinking - fall back asleep right before the alarm goes off (ugh). I hate falling into the old habit of mindlessly eating/drinking... It is not a good thing. But given the day, I'm not beating myself up. The good news is that yesterday I was able to stop myself a bit more than I have in the past. Only 2 glasses of wine from 2:30pm 'till bed vs. drowning my sorrow completely in the bottle. Of course, the scale is back up today. Oh well. I'm not even worrying about it. Today is a new day.

R.I.P. Michael

My godfather, Michael, died this morning.

He is the one in the white shirt (my dad is in the orange shirt)...

~~~

I don't understand why God needed this particular angel back right now. I trust him, but I don't understand. Damn it, I don't understand. Honestly, I'm a bit angry and a lot sad. Suffice it to say he was the absolute best god-father a girl could ask for, both in my childhood and thru 'till this day (and he'll continue on as a guardian angel, I'm sure).

~~~

Michael? I love you - I know you already know that, but I love you and will forever.

~~~

Blogging friends? If you pray, please keep him and his clan (Patty, Kristen, Megann, Ryan and Erin and their families) in your prayers. They'll need them.

New pictures (June 09 vs. 10) and background

I got this "new" dress (one of my finds at Goodwill for $5!) and it is a size 14 - HURRAY!!!! So, here it is in some new pictures for your viewing pleasure. I went back and found that a year ago, I took pictures too so put them in for a little comparison! 40 pounds makes a difference - almost 80 pounds total...

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Also, I'm having some angst about my blog background - I seem to change it like I change my handbags... bear with me while I find one I like (for now)!!

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The first set are this morning (06-03-10) at 200.6 pounds (retaining some water, salt or something today)

These next two are a year ago (06-02-09) at 240 pounds