40 and loving it (even 10 days later)!!!

Hello everyone!  OK, yes, I stink at posting lately... sorry!  I have had such a great month - my 40th birthday, Thanksgiving, and seeing family and getting ready for the holidays!

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I got "Flocked" with 40 pink Flamingos in my front yard for my 40th - such a FUN surprise!!!  My folks came down, and we had a nice quiet dinner Friday night (my birthday) and then Dennis (and Lucia) had a really nice party for me at our house on Saturday night - such fun to celebrate!  Although I still haven't crossed the 200 threshold, I look and feel SO much better than I did when I turned 30!  (or 20 for that matter)...

"Feather you like it or not, it's your 40th Bird-Day Sarah!"

The day before my birthday, we had some family pictures taken - I had bid on the sitting at a charity event, and finally got around to using it - and they turned out wonderfully!!!  Although sometimes I look at myself and see how much I have to lose, I do see how far I've come in these pictures!

Me, playing with Liam

The family...

Liam - trying to get out of the gate...

My two babies...

Lucia - no clue the picture was being taken...

Me, and my Dad (and Liam)

Dennis and me...

The session was fun - love seeing the pictures, and not being horrified at what I look like!  And then last night, we went to our neighborhood's Holiday Gala... which was really fun and I loved being able to wear a size 14 cocktail dress!  All in all, life is good.  Definitely need to pick it up on the weight loss front, but I really love where I am in life right now.  40 is wonderful, and I have a great family and wonderful friends to continue the journey with!

At the Holiday Gala...

Almost 40: HELP!!! (Calling all bandsters)

So, my bandster (and other) friends... I need some help.  

November 30th, I will turn 40.  And damn it, I SO WANT TO BE UNDER 200 POUNDS!  As I write this, I am weighing in about 204.5... not very far to go, but SO very far away, if that makes sense...  For whatever reason, I find myself in the same place I was right before I got pregnant with Liam... struggling for months to pass that 200 pound mark.  It is so scary in so may ways.  And honestly (if I am being completely honest with myself) it is my choice to imbibe alcohol (wine) EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.  More than a glass....  Because....

Well, I really don't know... Who am I at under 200 pounds?  Will I like that person?  Does she deserve me and my family?  So many questions bigger than my weight... (sigh, with tears...)

I haven't weighed that since high school, except for about 12 days before I got pregnant with Liam, and honestly that was because of the flu (but I welcomed & enjoyed that number)...

Seriously.  I haven't been under 200 pounds SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.  Do you know how long ago that was?!?!?  Well, if you can do math, you do.  Over 20 years.  More than 1/2 of the life I've lived.  I was Sarah Landolt then.  Not Sarah Fogler, who I've been (very happily) for almost 12 years...   I barely remember who that person was, way back then!!!  But I want to meet her again, and get to know her.

Especially before I turn 40, 

so that I can truly celebrate 40.

I did have a mini NSV last week when I fit into a pair of size 14 pants... but I know that is just the first of so many NSV's that I owe myself, 3.5+ years into this banding journey...  I want them to keep coming!  Why do I have these mental blocks?!?!?  Why is it that I don't want to blog and be in touch with so many of you who have provided me such inspiration?  The last few blogs I've had, I've had so few comments... and I feel like somehow I've missed out on you ladies....

HELP!  I feel kind of alone right now... I haven't been posting, so I'm not on the bandster radar... but I need you ladies right now for suggestions, encouragement, kicking-me-in-the-ass...  all of that stuff!  I hope you welcome me back into your world(s)...  Because I want to celebrate 40 with all of you, in that I am solidly below 200 pounds and that I know I'll never be above it again.

And, so I am not remiss,  Happy 4th Bandiversary to my dear friend, Catherine...  You are such an amazing inspiration to me throughout all of this!!!  (seriously, xoxoxoxoxo...  I am determined to plan an NYC trip to see you and Jen with Lucia, sometime very soon!!!)

Long Time, No Post... SORRY!!!

Hello all my bandster (and other) friends & family!!!  I've missed you... heck, I've missed posting for a long, long time.  I have no excuses, other than life has just gotten crazy... and honestly, three-and-a-half years out from being banded, I don't have a lot to share right now on the band front.  I know that this is MY blog, and I can make it what I want too, but somehow, I feel like I've dropped off the band-face-of-the-earth and don't have a lot to add.  But, I owe it to myself (and those of you who love me) to keep you posted and stay honest, so here is where we are in life:

Since the last post, I've had some ups and downs with my band... We went on vacation and I got so tight that I had to come back and get an un-fill... since then, I've been in twice once to go back up 1 ml, and then back down....  Right now as it stands, I am at 4.5 ml, and feel pretty good.  I am probably a smidge looser than I should be, but at 5.5 I couldn't swallow water.  So, I am good where I am.  I am holding steady... and right now I am at 201.5.  

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

I can't seem to break that 200 point.  I guess if I gave up wine for more than a week I could, but I haven't made that choice yet.  I am DETERMINED that by my 40th birthday at the end of November, I will be firmly in the 190's or lower.   I feel great though - essentially, I am at my real lowest point since the surgery... I did get into the high 190's right before getting pregnant with Liam, but only because of a week long stomach bug.  So that didn't really count... but  I can say from a clothing perspective that I am definitely out of 18W & 16W's and into 16's comfortable (gasp!) which is really exciting.  In fact, the other day I had to fold over the top of my pants to hold them up.  That was pretty cool!  And the compliments that I have been getting from folks are really reinforcing that I look good (and feel good) and that I know that the decision to get banded so long ago is still the best one I ever made... without a doubt.

I wish I had been able to go to Chicago - and it sounds like maybe BOOBS 4.0 won't necessarily happen (at least in the same capacity).  And while that makes me sad, I just need to find ways to continue connecting with those of you who I've been so blessed to make connections with...  So I will continue to build those relationships through my blog and hope to stay connected!  And I do read and follow, just haven't posted comments as much as I should have (sorry!).

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OK:  On the not-band-related-blog-front... here is what is happening in our lives:

Liam is almost 16 months old, and a HANDFUL!  He is fully living up to his middle name of Thor and hammers on everything available.  He is such an immense joy though... always happy, kissing, hugging, loving and snuggling.  All that makes up for him not sleeping in his own bed (lol)...

Lucia is absolutely LOVING her new school, and the transition couldn't have gone smoother.  She's joined the cross-country team, and has had a few races ... clearly taking after her daddy...  And she has an A+ in religion (and great grades in other classes).  I am so glad we made this decision for her because it has been, without a doubt, the right one.  Oh... and she's still riding horses, in fact, has picked up a 2nd lesson a week (yikes) and just loves it - I can see such a change in her already, and her trainer told her that if she keeps it up, she'll be in "real" (vs. just barn) shows next year (do you hear that flushing sound?!?!?!  That would be our checking account... sigh....)

Dennis is the same - crazy, busy at Cisco, and continuing to be such a great husband and dad.  I've been able to do a mother/daughter (leader/daughter) weekend with Lucia at Girl Scout Camp, and am heading out of town next week... he is so supportive of us and I am a really lucky girl.

On the work front, I am swamped... I am the lead on a diocese-wide payroll project which, if approved, will on-board 180 employing locations onto one platform.  YIKES!  But exciting... and then there is the rest of my "real" job that keeps me busy - all with a reduced 30 hour a week schedule (by my request) so I can pick up Lu at school 2 days a week... but so far, it is working!  And I was just selected to present at a National conference in Tampa in April, which is really cool... thankfully my presentation (on Generations in the workplace) is already about 80% done... but still a lot of work to do to ensure it is top-notch, since this is a national platform for my line of work.

That is all for now... I've included a few pictures below of life....  Hope a few of you are still following me, and please know I am doing the same with you... 

xoxoxoxoxo

Beach Fun, Band Issues & Baby boogie-boarding...

Lucia & Liam... walking on the beach together...

We are on vacation at the beach and for the most part, having a blast...  We are with some great friends, and very, very relaxed...  Weather has been a bit hit or miss, but good enough that we've had some great time at the beach and inside the place we've rented.  Personally, I like cloudy & rainy days, and we had two of those, and the rest sun - should finish out the vacation with sunny days too.

My friend Lori & Me, with Liam at the beach (and his blue shovel)

 I did have a bit of a bummer on Monday - my band for some reason had gotten so tight over the last week that by Saturday (of course, it couldn't have happened BEFORE vacation), I was throwing up a few times a day and Sunday all day - couldn't get liquids down, and Sunday night was up all night with acid reflux worse than I've ever had it.  I called the doc first thing Monday AM, and they were able to fit me in that afternoon, so I drove home to Richmond and saw the doc.  They've completely unfilled me and I have a barium x-ray next Tuesday...  She thinks that something just got stuck and I got very inflammed, but I guess we'll know for sure on Tuesday.  Fingers crossed there is no slippage...  I did have almost 6 cc's in my band though, which I was SHOCKED about - last time I had that much, I couldn't swallow water either - so I am hoping I was just too tight.  I got to come back to the beach Monday night - it sucks that I lost a day, but I am enjoying myself SO MUCH MORE now that I can drink and eat, it was worth it...

Me and my boy...

Liam really seems to like the beach - unfortunately, he has a cold and is cutting about 6 teeth at once, so he is a bit grumpy but still we're having a blast.  He's happy as a clam to be sitting in the sand and digging with his shovel and bucket.  Sand in, sand out.  Sand in, sand out.  And so it goes.  

Liam and his green striped sock-shoes.

Lucia got a new boogie board, and is perfecting her style with her daddy... the family we are with have two girls on either end of the age spectrum from Lu, and they all seem to be getting along great (considering the close quarters).

Lucia working her boogie board

Dennis is fully relaxing which is great for him... I think they boys are going to go fishing tomorrow... we'll see what they come back with!

All in all, life continues to be great.  Lucia starts school two weeks from Monday, so we have a few weeks of summer left.  Personally, I am ready for the fall to be here - never really been a hot-weather kind of girl.  Give me 50 degrees and crisp weather for wearing sweaters!!!

Is this my "new normal"???

Hi All...  hope everyone is doing well!  I am good... heck, I am great I guess!  I could have so many things to complain about but I don't.  We didn't lose power with this last round of storms, I am FINALLY feeling better (sick most of June), the renovations on our house are done and awesome, although we (yes, WE, i.e. Dennis and I) still need to paint, and the kids are for the most part, healthy!

I am, however, wondering if this is my "new normal" of being banded.  To recap, I've been banded 3 years and 5ish months... I've lost about 85 pounds from my highest weight, which is right where my surgeon said I would be with the band, so YAY ME!  Unequivocally, it is a success story, even when I change the ending on myself...

I am weighing in these days around 204, and enjoying my Chardonnay tremendously, which I do believe (hell, I KNOW) has kept me above that 200 mark.  I still have about 25 pounds to go with actual exercise and watching what I am eating, and I know that I can get there - I just have to choose to adjust my brain to do that.

I wonder, being this far out, if this is normal?  I live with the band every day, and thankfully have had minimal problems with it.  The last week that I had my period, I was extremely loose which is NOT the norm... the week following, super tight... but I think I am at a good point with it - I rarely PB anymore unless I eat too quickly and that has nothing to do with the band, but everything to do with me.  I also rarely watch how much protein I eat and find myself choosing less smart slider options... I feel pretty darn good where I am.  I have also realized though, that until I get plastic surgery, I will always have this "fold" at my belly that will more than likely keep me in "teen" sizes at best... and honestly, my genetics regarding my thighs probably mean that going much below a 12-10 is truly a dream.  But I am in a comfortable 16 bottoms and M-L shirt, and can still see my collar bone which is a big thing for me!

I am a bit disappointed that I haven't been blogging as much, but think that the extenuating circumstances of a one-year-old have just a bit to do with that... but I also do think that I am in a new normal - and there just isn't as much "band" related stuff to share!  I am committed though, to not letting this lapse because it does keep me honest.  So, I will pledge to keep putting out updates as I can and feel like they are relevant enough to do!

And, I need to start doing a few more pictures of my status... i.e. the front/side/rear views... that was a good and motivating thing for me.  Haven't had one of those for a while, so will try to do one soon!