6.04.2010
odd...
yesterday afternoon sucked as you can imagine. I've been at a great point with restriction - no PB'ing and the acid reflux has gone away, but still not able to eat too much. Perfect. Yesterday? I don't know exactly what happened, but suffice it to say I could eat way more than I normally would with no restriction at all. I came home and cried, drank a glass of wine, nibbled on crap-slider food, then we went out for chinese food... came home, another glass of wine... then bed. Slept for 4 hours - up for 4 hours in the middle of the night just laying there thinking - fall back asleep right before the alarm goes off (ugh). I hate falling into the old habit of mindlessly eating/drinking... It is not a good thing. But given the day, I'm not beating myself up. The good news is that yesterday I was able to stop myself a bit more than I have in the past. Only 2 glasses of wine from 2:30pm 'till bed vs. drowning my sorrow completely in the bottle. Of course, the scale is back up today. Oh well. I'm not even worrying about it. Today is a new day.
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7 comments:
I've decided i have to stay away from Chinese food for a while, myself. Everything I do, the scale goes up due to all the sodium. You are so right, though. Today is a new day and a clean slate. You have a good positive outlook and that's what matters!
Chinese food does pack a punch with the sodium especially the Soy Sauce. Love chinese food, but I will have to stay away from it as well. Especially that addictive Crab Rangoon.
Day by day...you were aware of yesterday which I think is progress. I was not aware of how much mindless eating I was doing before. So sorry to hear about the loss of your godfather. I think a day of slider food and wine was not that out of line. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. :)
I like to think of it as thoughtful binging. As another said, you were aware of yesterday but given the circumstances, I don't think you should beat yourself up over it. Like you said, today is another day. Also, I agree with others. Chinese food sucks for weight loss because of the sodium but it's so darn tasty! Take care.
Don't be too hard on yourself, when I'm sad, sometimes I just have to comfort myself with food. I hope you feel better soon.
Take care.
All things considered you did very well! Don't beat yourself up about anything - you are right - today is a new day!
The thing that was hardest for me to hear was that we SHOULDN'T rely on restriction to tell us that we're not hungry. I commented on this at the last check-in that I had, said that I was concerned that everything I ate was going down. Michelle told me that everything we (bandsters) eat SHOULD go down. If you're eating a protein heavy diet where you consume the right portions of food, the food SHOULDN'T get stuck. That's ideal. It means you're chewing right and eating without swallowing air.
That said, I totally understand using food as a form of comfort. Hell, if you didn't do it in the past, you wouldn't have gotten fat, right? The passing of your godfather is an emotional time for you and the eating is your coping mechanism. You shouldn't fault yourself for that. The only thing you can do to change it to something that won't make you feel lousier later is to find something non-food related to cope with. It's hard, I know, but it's worth mulling over to see if you have options that your psyche would be willing to work with.
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