A little self-reflection and a lot of fun...

My cousins, Angie (left) and Rebecca (right - bride-to-be)

What a great day yesterday... Thank you all SO MUCH for your support, encouragement and cheers. Because I really did hear it all while I was running! Cara, I even heard you from Down Under!!!

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The race was interesting... It was a LOT harder than I anticipated. It was later than I'm used to running (9am) - usually we go at 5:45am in the dark... It was MUGGY! About 20 degrees warmer than I've been running in, and the course was completely different - a lot more hills - up AND down. Where I run now has a pretty steady course with some minimal inclines. I'll be honest... I had a little breakdown in the middle of the race. I kept thinking to myself that I would be the last one in because I didn't hear anything behind me and only saw people in front of me. But every now and then, I would turn around and look behind me and there were GOBS of people still... While I was running I was really emotional. About mile 1.8 or so, I just started crying. I think from happiness mainly, but also a bit of sadness for the excuses I used to make that I couldn't do this. I proved to myself that I actually CAN do it but that is also a really scary thing - lots of self-responsibility with that!!! I finally realized that all those years I said I couldn't run, I COULD - I just didn't try or let myself. What else have I told myself I couldn't do, that I can now??? Catherine made a comment in her last post, which I'm going to borrow because it is SO TRUE... She said, and I echo... "I feel overwhelmed by how grateful and relieved I am to have found a way to stop the bad cycle of gaining weight and feeling hopeless and horrible about that." She hit it right on the head. (and BTW - congrats on your NSV of the highest wall!!!). As I was finishing the race, I turned the corner and the music was blaring (Jackson Five) and it's amazing... I was the only person running (Dennis had come back to run in with me)... everyone was cheering for me... I completely lost it and started to bawl as I crossed the line. I think people were a bit freaked out... LOL... oh well! It was amazing.

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The Bachelorette Party... LEFT = Angie, Becky & Kristen. RIGHT = Me, Lala and Becca

The flip side was that the rest of the weekend was BUSY! So not too much time to think about the accomplishment and what it all means. I think I mentioned that not only was my race yesterday, but then I hosted a bridal shower Saturday afternoon and then last night was my cousin's bachelorette party. I have to say - I had a TON of fun, but boy those girls can PARTY! I haven't been out that late in i-don't-know-how-long! We closed out the bar this morning at 2AM. And you know what, I had SO much fun! (Mind you, I am easily 10 years older than all of them, and was the designated driver, bringing them to the bars in the minivan... LOL). I was hanging out with the girls, and I fit in. I fit into bar seats that I wouldn't have 6 months ago, I was able to socialize and flirt (kind of, but not really) and just be involved in ways that honestly I never would have allowed myself to be! Hell - I had enough stamina after running a race AND throwing the shower to stay up until 2! And I know a lot of it was that I am not carrying around those 60 extra pounds. It was great. However, I am tired!

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At any rate, lots of thinking about things going on in my little head. I want to keep doing this, so I've signed up for a 5K in November - the Jingle Bell Run... and I'm eyeing one in March that I can work toward to keep me motivated. We'll see where this road leads!

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Thanks again, SO MUCH for all the love and support!