I'm thankful for a lot of things. Seriously, I am. I have a good life and I know it. Like...
- The fact that I have a job and mostly I like it
- I have a great husband and kid who adores me (until she turns into a tween)
- I have a wonderful house and great neighbors
- Phenomenal friends and family, both near and far
- Health and my husband's medical insurance that has paid in full for this surgery
- Toasted Head Chardonnay
- Getting to go see Dave Matthew's Band on Friday
- Blah, blah, blah
But I'm just having one of those days. It is cold. It is rainy. Where the hell is spring? Seriously? I had to work late last night, and got home after Lucia was already asleep. I woke up this morning, and Lu woke up GRUMPY! The first thing we say to her after good morning, is "go to the bathroom"... and that set off the crying. "I only want to snuggle Mama! I dont' want to go potty!" Tears, tears, drippy nose, more tears. "I don't HAVE to blow my nose Mama!". I think she's getting sick. But I had to send her to school anyway (I know, one of those awful mothers who sends their kid in HOPING that they won't notice or call you to tell you she has a fever).
Everything was a fight this morning. Then I mentioned that Daddy was picking her up from daycare today because I have another meeting tonight, and the waterworks started all over again. (sigh) "You have another meeting night Mommy?" but then, not, "I miss you", but right to "Is Survivor on tonight? Can I watch it in your bed while I wait for you to get home"? Try explaining to a 4 year old that no, it isn't on, because it isn't Thursday, which then starts another round of waterworks. And I can't decide if I'm hurt that she likes Survivor more than me. I've managed to convince myself that it is snuggling in bed together watching it (or HGTV's Property Virgins) that she likes. Honestly, I like that too. Nothing better than snuggling up with your kid. Long story short, I dropped her off without tears, because Mrs. Quick (her preschool teacher) ROCKS. I owe that woman so much! She is amazing. I got home in time to pick up two of my girlfriends for our Kindergarten New-Parent Orientation meeting this morning. Then that made me want to cry. Seriously - when did she grow up???? I'm not ready for her to ride the bus, or choose her own lunch, or take a different day care bus home! Geez!
I'll spare you the details of the rest of the day, but suffice it to say that I could use a big glass of white wine with my whine right now (Toasted Head Chardonnay to be specific, which just happens to be my favorite) ! And man... the GUILT! I'm Episcopalian - not Catholic, not Jewish, not any other religion claiming to own the rights to guilt, but boy, I have somehow learned to carry it as a mother!!! OK. I know I have a great life. And damn it, these pounds will come off. And, as my boss reminded me this morning, "4 year olds are resilient"... Now if only 36 year olds were too!!!
It IS a new day tomorrow, right?!?!? Tomorrow, here I come.
2 comments:
I think it was just a day to go back to bed. I backed the car out of the gate, went to get out to lock it, stepped in mud. Made it to the gate and went to lock it and put my hand in bird poop and then shut my finger in the car door. Ran a stop sign, parked the car at walmart and when I went to leave I thought I would pull through the parking spot instead of backing out...didnt realize their was a curb thing and ran over it...Tomorrow is another day!
Sarah, Toasted Head is my favorite as well. You are doing so well. Don't let anything get you down. Just lift your head, throw those shoulders back, and smile. You can do it.
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